THE PHIL FAMILY // OFFICIAL ARCHIVE
NEW ARRIVAL / FAMILY FILE 003100%
FAMILY
ISSUE
Same blood.
Same bob.
New problem.
Meet Philou, the son of Jean Phil and Brigitte. He inherited his father's haircut, his mother's attitude, and absolutely no say in either.
THE NEXT GENERATION OF BAD HAIR DAYS
NOTE FROM MOMHe gets it from his father.Except the attitude.
That's apparently my fault.
— Brigitte
FIG. 01 — THE ENTIRE HAIRLINE, TOGETHER.The Phils ♡
03family
members
01legendary
haircut
00questions
answered
P.S. THE PHOTO IS CLICKABLE.
01 / 05
PERSONNEL RECORDS / CONFIDENTIAL-ISH
The usual
suspects.
Three faces. One haircut. Tap a portrait to find out what's actually running in this family.
No one here chose their own hairstyle. ♡
OFFICIAL FAMILY TREE — VERIFIED BY LOOKING AT THEIR HAIR
Jean Phil ♂Brigitte ♀
↓ Philou / $PHILOU ↓
You can inherit money. Or you can inherit this haircut.
THE PHIL INSTITUTE OF HEREDITARY HAIRCUTS
What's in
the genes?
Reconstruct Philou's highly unscientific DNA. Adjust the sliders. Get a family-approved report.
100%
NOT
SCIENCE
THE INHERITANCE-O-MATIC™
PROPERTY OF THE PHIL FAMILY. RESULTS MAY CAUSE A BOB.
A parody personality generator. Zero actual genetics, financial advice, or profit predictions.
PHIL LAB / NO. 003STATUS: FAMILY
THE BOB HEIR
SUBJECT: PHILOU · FAMILY RESEMBLANCE REPORT
Inherited the cut. Inherited the glare. Still not allowed out past ten.
03 / 05
EVERY HOUSE HAS RULES / THIS ONE HAS HAIR
You're invited
to dinner.
Pick a family member. Pick a topic. Find out why nobody talks at the Phil dinner table.
PHILOU SAYS:"I asked for a fade. Dad said the family doesn't believe in those."
CHOOSE AN UNCOMFORTABLE TOPIC:
House rule #1: Don't ask about the haircut. House rule #2: Especially don't ask Brigitte.
04 / 05
LEAVE YOUR MARK / PLEASE DON'T CUT THE HAIR
Sign the
family album.
Every respectable family keeps a guest book. This one's mostly a collection of questionable advice.
Notes from the house
Welcome to the family. Almost.
05 / 05
